Que Será, Será - Show # 79 - May 20, 2016

Welcome! WELCOME TO THE FUTURE!

Tomorrow has hit TODAY at the Haunted House!
We have tips on what to do, questions on what will be and answers for what's in store!

With a horrifying selection of mischievous melodies!

This is the music show of TOMORROW and you can listen to it NOW!

THIS IS ALSO OUR LAST SHOW OF THE SEASON!

Come, come, Popoff! Bring your Wavelenght Receptor!

We welcome you into the FUTURE HOUSE (will it be as Haunted?)

We bring you questions nobody dares to ask anymore

Your Host (left) and Popoff, preparing today's show

Always have a Mr. Handy around. Who would clean the Thing Room otherwise?

Get yourself a BirdBot and never worry again!

Popoff is a scientist of sorts and we bring you his latest inventions:

Behold the Uni-Plane!

The Fashion to Come (notice the MOOD DIAL on the hips)

The new MUSIC MACHINE

Frankly, we just don't drive any other way any more

Except, of course, for quick errands in the DYNASPHERE...

... Or a little exercise on our SPACELANDER!

It is always helpful to have a ChachaBot™ (Or eMaid™) around the house

Don't worry about visiting pesky doctors! Have a Doc Machine in your bathroom!

Even the simplest action is now effortless

And after all this hard work is done, have a cigarette!
Or even better, make your LungBot have it for you!

THE TRACKLIST OF TOMORROW:

1- Hot Fun in the Summer Time- Sly & the Family Stone

2- Summer Breeze- Jackie Mittoo

3- Opi Rides Again- Club Med Sucks- Camper Van Beethoven

4- Summer Babe- Pavement

5- La Mer- Charles Trénet

6- What’s In Store for Me – The Kinks

7- Place Unknown – Quintron 

8- Rhythm Futur – Django Reinhardt and the Quintette Hot Club de France

9- The Robots – Kraftwerk

10- Salvadora Robot- Meridian Brothers

11- El Idioma del Robot – The Gay Crooners

12- Intergalactic- Beastie Boys

13- Space Age – The Monks

14- Song for a Future Generation – B-52’s

15- King of the Road- Roger Miller

16- Meus Filhos, Meu Tesoro – Jorge Ben

17- Future Blues- Willie Brown

18- I’ll Have a New Body – Hank Williams and the Drifting Cowboys

19- Yo quiero Morir Cantando – Chabela

20- Que será será- Sly & the Family Stone 

Lucky 13 - Show # 78 - Friday the 13th of May, 2016

Dear Lucky Stars,

Well, whatcha gonna do but listen to the HAUNTED HOUSE LUCKY CHARM SPECIAL!

A horrifying selection of mischievous melodies!Yes, we celebrate "that horrendous day" and we discuss LUCK!

 

Are you superstitious? Or just a little stitious?

We got what you need! We got amulets and charms, rabbit feet and horseshoes, spiritual oils and magic potions!

In just half an hour of listening you will be able to:

Defy bad luck!

Hold umbrellas under stairs!

With a whole hour of the show you will:

Double dare bad luck!

Get a little cocky about it!

Smash some looking glass!

Write NOW to get one of our fast-selling, double protection

And the first listeners also get our special

(offer valid only until we run out of rabbits)   

This show is sponsored by "Lucky Charms",
Miss Ghost Host's favorite cereal:

 
With 30% more processed sugar in every box!  


It's our 78 show! A lucky, propitious number we discuss in depth with you!

Because you might be Darth Vader and rule the universe and all that,
but some days the Death Star won't start and it just won't start...  

AMULET TRACKLIST:

1. Superstitious - Howlin Wolf

2. Lucky 7- The Skatalites

3. Dread Luck- The Upsetters

4. The Loser- Derrick Harriott

5.  Cry Cry Cry- Ritchie Valens

6. I'm a Bad Luck Woman - Memphis Minnie

7. Unlucky Girl - Big Mama Thornton

8. Born In Hard Luck- Chris Couchillon

9. Cats Are Bad Luck - Jimmie Revard and his Oklahoma Playboys

10. Take It Away Lucky- Eddie Noack

11. S.O.L. Blues - Louis Armstrong and his Hot Five

12. Maldição - Amália Rodrigues

13. Que suerte la mía - José Alfredo Jiménez

14. Fichas negras- Leo Marini con la Sonora Matancera

15. Just My Luck to Be Fifteen- The Poni-Tails

16. Pennies drom Heaven – Citadels

17. Luck of Lucien- A Tribe Called Quest

18. La gitana me ha dejado (salsa electrónica)- Meridian Brothers

19. Que Mala Suerte La Mía – Los Amaya

20. Te conozco- Willie Colón y Hector Lavoe

21. Rabbit Foot Blues - Blind Lemon Jefferson

22. Rezo y Canto Pa Mi Aché - Celina y Reutilio

 

Police Raid!- Show # 77 - May 6, 2016

Dear Fellow Criminals,

Our drug spree of last week has ended pretty badly, with the Drug Squad, the Ghost Patrol, the SEALS (Spooks, Ectoplasms And Loons Squad) and the SWATS (Supernatural Weapons and Terrors) raiding the Haunted House!

(Get high again with our drug show in the previous page)

Oh, it's been just terrible, as terrible as a clear sunny day with no bats or fog or darkness whatsoever... Sheer horror!

This has been a clear violation of the U.S.-Haunted Territories Convention! 

These were the signers of the Haunted Territories Pact: the Ghost peoples obviously not seen.

So TODAY we discuss the POLICE and other forces of the long arms of the law!
Yes, we will have cops, bobbies, bizzies, malos, flat feet, boys in blue, dicks, narcs, five-0's and donut patrols!

These squads have left no stone of the house unturned:
They searched the tarantula suite, the batrooms, the and even Popoff's dungeon!
The only thing they did not dare to register was THE THING ROOM! (which was pretty cool, as we had time to hide all our stash there).

 

This is how you properly raid a Haunted House

 

Popoff, arrested on the Police Wagon

We ask all the important questions, such as:

- How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb?

- If a policeman raids the forest and there's no robbery, does he take a tree into the wagon?

- What kind of handcuffs can you put on a non-dimensional creature such as Popoff?

- What kind of treat do you give a Police Dog so it stops chewing at your ankles?
- Why do we citizens of all dimensions accept living in a police state?

"C'mon, Gengis Khan! Find those bastard druggies! Sniff, Gengis, sniff!"

A nicer police is possible!

We made the House disappear as a trick and this is how this policeman was left

At the doors of the House, the Police try to restrain the loving public that listened to our show and came to thank us and ask for our underwear (Popoff wears these funny transparent breeches):

 

Frankly, it was about frigging time.

 
The Haunted Policemen have a message for you:

A rare picture of our Goblins walking into the car (how many goblins fit on a police car? find out!)

 
 
THE CHARGES:

1- Julie's in the Drug Squad- The Clash 

2- La Banda del Carro Rojo - Tigres del Norte

3- Police and Thieves- Lee Scratch Perry 

4- Woman police - Duke of Iron

5- No Crime, No Law- El Comander 

6- Dick Tracy – Skatalites

7- James Bond Theme - Fanfare Ciocarlia vs Boban Marcovic Orchestra

8- Antchi Hoyé- Géthachèw Mèkurya 

9- Οι λαχανάδες (The Pickpockets) - Περπινιάδης Στελλάκης (Stelios Perpiniadis)

10- Bye, Bye Policeman- Jim Jackson 

11- No Knock- Gil Scott Heron 

12- 911 is a Joke- Public Enemy 

13- Mr. Policeman – Rick James

14- Officer- Pharcyde 

15- Jazz Police - Leonard Cohen

16- Who Are the Brain Police?- Zappa 

17- Love Potion N 9 - The Clovers

18- Parties in the USA - Jonathan Richman

19- Lawless Street - The Skatalites 

20- La matanza de Lugo - Patrullero Mancuso

 

Drugs, Drugs and More Drugs - Show # 76 - April 29, 2016

Welcome, Welcome, Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,
Welcome, dear dopes, dupes and music fiends,
Welcome dear addicts and wrecks,

Come! Come into the Haunted House Drug Show and get the cure for what ails ya!

We got cocaine drops and heroin shots, wacky tobacky and hadacol other miraculous remedies for your pains!

We got brews and concoctions, we got potions, fine extracts and lotions in our travelling show of Haunted locomotion!

We got cannabis for the babies and cocaine for the ladies! Ritalin for the tired and opium for the wired!

Hear, hear what we have in our magic House of healing powers:

Lacking energy? Feeling tired of phony remedies?

Try our new COCAINE products in different varieties:

Is the stress of modern life not letting you relax? Do you feel tense and sleepless?

Why don't you try heroin? It's what grandma used to do! 

Now, if you are trying to lose some weight, 9 out of 10 doctors recommend our wonderful product, NICOTINE:

Now with SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE! 

These are great Haunted™ methods to lose weight fast:

Or are you perhaps of the WACKY TOBACKY persuasion?

 

Don't listen to those who don't know! We got it for you!

And remember the best part:

And if you get a little cough from all that healthy smoke, try our NEW, WONDERFUL

And if good ol' whiskey is not enough for you anymore, why don't you try...

It's what they're all doing today!

Why do you think Hollywood stars look so shiny?

Come listen to our MIRACULOUS, ALL-HEALING,

ALL-POWERFUL AND CURING SHOW!

Now with 30% more Popoff extract and a purer dose of Ghostness!

The RECIPE:

1- Cocaine Habit Blues - Memphis Jug Band

2- Cocaine - Abner Jay

3- White Lines - Grandmaster Flash

4- My Brother’s a Base Head – De La Soul

5- Smoke! Smoke! Smoke that Cigarette! - Tex Williams

6- Tabaco Mascao - Combo Los Galleros

7 -Marihuana – Los Darlings de Huanuco

8- La Marihuana - Trío Garnica-Ascensio de la Compañía de Revistas Campillo

9- El Tirili – Don Tosti’s Pachuco Boys (as Don Ramón y Su Orquesta)

10- Mary-Wanna - Lat Teens

11- The Reefer Song (If You're a Viper) - Fats Waller

12- Song of the Vipers – Louis Armstrong

13- Viper Mad – Sydney Bechet

14- Kicking the Gong Around - Cab Calloway

15- The White Lady Loves You More -  Elliott Smith

16- Tonight – Iggy Pop

17- Codeine - Buffy St Marie

18-  Sugar Man - Rodriguez 

19- I’m Waiting for the Man – Velvet Underground

20 - Canned Heat - Tommy Johnson

And remember: